Wish I had great news but honestly this week I am feeling quite discouraged. Our dossier was turned in and our agency has asked us to redo almost half of it. Much of our paperwork was completed in Jan/Feb/March/April of last year. We did lots of it while we were doing our home study paperwork so we could be ready to mail it in as soon as we received our USCIS approval. When Mark's job changed in June before we received that coveted USCIS approval, everything paused. Then once he was rehired in Sept. we had to amend our home study before we could submit our dossier. And now we are in 2012 and that means much of the paperwork in our dossier is almost a year old. Apparently in Uganda when it comes to this kind of paperwork it isn't wise to have it that old.
So we are reordering birth certificates. Did you know a birth certificate in SC costs $12 each and birth certificates from Michigan cost $50 each and birth certificates from Colorado cost $30? Each person in the household has to have 2 new birth certificates. Although we have 6 marriage certificates issued February of 2010, we have to get 2 newer ones:) Thankfully we have the money because of all our wonderful fundraisers but just hate spending it on redoing paperwork!
Do I sound frustrated? Yeah I am. I realize I shouldn't be and it is just part of this process. I am just ready to feel like we are making progress! Okay enough whining:) I am THANKFUL! For what I am learning in the wait...for the way this pressure is prayerfully causing some refining and in the end some beautiful character.
I am thankful that in the delays and waiting God is surely working and although His ways are indeed not my ways...they are so much better! Do I feel thankful? No, at the moment I FEEL like I want to throw a hissy fit and stomp my foot and pout and whine to Jesus about why in the world I have to REDO all this blasted paperwork that I FINALLY just finished!! And why I have to spend all this money again and why does it all have to take SO stinking long!!!
Big cleansing breath....the Lord sees and knows...His timing is amazingly perfect...He has our best interests in mind....and I can always trust His heart...He knows where our littles are and when they will need us...He is preparing the way before us and none of this journey is wasted...none of the pain, none of the frustration, none of the growth opportunities, none of the new relationships made, none of the angst. Gotta keep my eyes on that! Thanks for journeying with us:) In the end...it is going to be blow-our-minds amazing! I just deep-in-my gut KNOW it!
Showing posts with label trust. Show all posts
Showing posts with label trust. Show all posts
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
The Waiting Room
Mark is sitting in a waiting room. He just finished an interview and is waiting to hear if he got the job or not. I am sitting on our couch waiting to hear from him. We've been doing a lot of waiting these days...
I'm still not very good at it. I realized recently that waiting is less stressful when we have confidence in Who we are waiting on. It really goes back to trust. If I am waiting in line at Burger King I don't have a lot of patience because I always have to wait a really long time there and I don't usually have a positive experience. On the other hand when I wait at Chick-fil-a I expect a short wait, with good service and a pleasant "My pleasure" at the end. That is because of my history of great experiences at that wonderful chicken place!
I traveled this summer with our youth group at Newspring Church to their week long youth camp, the Gauntlet, in Daytona, Florida. When it was time to travel home the leaders had to get 2000 people onto buses to travel home to five different cities. That involved lots of "hurry and wait." We worked hard to get downstairs to the lobby and then had to just wait..and wait...and wait some more. We knew eventually there would be a bus and we would get on it and drive home. We couldn't see the bus or hear the bus and we couldn't even see the door outside to the bus. We simply knew we were promised by our leaders a return journey on a bus. Our leaders had faithfully done everything they promised over the last five days. We chose to trust them because they had a history of following through. We were moved from one room to another and the wait was long and frustrating, but we never really doubted that we would actually finally get on the bus! We had no control over the journey to the bus. I did, however, have a choice as to my attitude during the wait. And that significantly affected my journey. My attitude affected the people around me and my experience. Although my physical surroundings and circumstances were uncomfortable and did not guarantee a positive outcome...I trusted that what was promised would come about and it would be for my eventual good. I could have complained and fretted and tried to speed things up...but in reality it simply would have made the waiting more difficult for me and the people around me...and not sped up the end result one bit.
Trust comes as a result of relationship. I trust more and more deeply the stronger my relationship is with someone. Relationship takes time and experience and sometimes difficulty. I believe that as I wait the Lord doesn't simply want my surrender and/or obedience, He also wants my trust. He doesn't want me to throw my hands up in the air in surrender out of defeat....He wants me to place my hand in His and follow Him because I trust Him! When I trust Him in that way I am recognizing His heart and that His intentions for me are good!
Just as I waited for that bus...I am waiting now. I am choosing to trust that He sees ahead. That the process and what it is doing in us/me is just as significant...maybe more so than what the actual outcome of all this is. He is faithful and as I press in and draw close and get to know Him better...I trust more. He's always after the heart and that is where trust rests. My heart trusts His heart. No matter what...
I'm still not very good at it. I realized recently that waiting is less stressful when we have confidence in Who we are waiting on. It really goes back to trust. If I am waiting in line at Burger King I don't have a lot of patience because I always have to wait a really long time there and I don't usually have a positive experience. On the other hand when I wait at Chick-fil-a I expect a short wait, with good service and a pleasant "My pleasure" at the end. That is because of my history of great experiences at that wonderful chicken place!
I traveled this summer with our youth group at Newspring Church to their week long youth camp, the Gauntlet, in Daytona, Florida. When it was time to travel home the leaders had to get 2000 people onto buses to travel home to five different cities. That involved lots of "hurry and wait." We worked hard to get downstairs to the lobby and then had to just wait..and wait...and wait some more. We knew eventually there would be a bus and we would get on it and drive home. We couldn't see the bus or hear the bus and we couldn't even see the door outside to the bus. We simply knew we were promised by our leaders a return journey on a bus. Our leaders had faithfully done everything they promised over the last five days. We chose to trust them because they had a history of following through. We were moved from one room to another and the wait was long and frustrating, but we never really doubted that we would actually finally get on the bus! We had no control over the journey to the bus. I did, however, have a choice as to my attitude during the wait. And that significantly affected my journey. My attitude affected the people around me and my experience. Although my physical surroundings and circumstances were uncomfortable and did not guarantee a positive outcome...I trusted that what was promised would come about and it would be for my eventual good. I could have complained and fretted and tried to speed things up...but in reality it simply would have made the waiting more difficult for me and the people around me...and not sped up the end result one bit.
Trust comes as a result of relationship. I trust more and more deeply the stronger my relationship is with someone. Relationship takes time and experience and sometimes difficulty. I believe that as I wait the Lord doesn't simply want my surrender and/or obedience, He also wants my trust. He doesn't want me to throw my hands up in the air in surrender out of defeat....He wants me to place my hand in His and follow Him because I trust Him! When I trust Him in that way I am recognizing His heart and that His intentions for me are good!
Just as I waited for that bus...I am waiting now. I am choosing to trust that He sees ahead. That the process and what it is doing in us/me is just as significant...maybe more so than what the actual outcome of all this is. He is faithful and as I press in and draw close and get to know Him better...I trust more. He's always after the heart and that is where trust rests. My heart trusts His heart. No matter what...
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