Saturday, March 16, 2013

Hope deferred...

Dear family and friends,
We love you...and are so thankful for your prayers and support over the last 29 months as we have traveled this windy and often confusing path of adoption.  The last 6 weeks have been very hard but also, because of God's grace and presence, they have been beautiful.  We don't understand why we were only given 5 days to love on Hope Amelia, but they were sweet and precious days.  We will pray for Hope and her momma, Ashley for the rest of our lives.  They are permanently imprinted on our hearts.

When we returned from Kentucky we decided that we wanted to give ourselves at least a month to grieve and process a bit before decided what "next" was going to look like. We weren't sure whether we should pursue another domestic referral or stay on the Uganda waiting list.  However, after being home for only two weeks our agency asked us if we would consider looking at the file of a little girl with some special needs at the babies home.  She is considered paper ready, which means at this point able to be adopted.  There was another family that met her while visiting Uganda on a mission trip and they were also inquiring to look at her file.  They had not even started their homestudy yet though, so their process would be lengthy.  

Initially we both said "no" because she is legally blind and we were not sure we felt like we could be what she needs.  She is 2 1/2 years old but is developmentally at a 4-6 month old level.  We decided to at least look at her file. Early on in our adoption process, I really believe the Lord gave me the name Hope to pray for our  little girl.  We named our domestic referral Hope, and as far as we know her momma decided to keep that name.  The babies home calls this little girl by a different name but when we opened her file we discovered that her name is actually Suubi.  Suubi means Hope in Lugandan.  We were floored by this....and decided to truly consider this as a possible referral.  So we decided to pray together and separately and limit our conversation about it, but rather pray and fast and seek the Lord.

So that is what we did.  We did not speak about it much between our selves or with others for about two weeks.  During that time in His gentle way the Lord confirmed and affirmed to both of us that we should accept the referral for Suubi.  We realize that there are no guarantees regarding her development.  We had our pediatrician look over the medical paperwork that we do have for her.  There is honestly not much other than bloodwork and some documentation of her physical appearance.

Her left side is immobile at this point.  She is reaching for things with her right hand and kicks with her right leg.  When she first came into care last May she would lay stiff as a board and was fairly unresponsive.  However, now, she laughs and sings to herself.  She responds to stimuli and favors certain caregivers.  She wil need extensive therapy for a long time.  We know this will change our family in many ways.  However, we feel the Lord said, yes, and so we say yes.  We are excited to see what all He can and do in her and in us.  We, honestly, are apprehensive and in many ways scared....but sometimes you just have to obey....scared!

Our God always comes through, is always faithful and we know we can trust His heart for us and for Suubi.  We have been praying for this little girl, in reality almost her entire life.  We don't know when we will travel yet.  We hope to receive a court date before July 15th.  The courts in Uganda close between July 15th and August 15th.  They are working on her case and we hope our dossier will be sent to the lawyer within the next three weeks.  We then sign affidavits and our lawyer will file for a court date.  Then we wait!

We accepted her referral about nine days ago.  We didn't share with many people yet for a few reasons.  We wanted family to be able to digest it first and ask questions.  And since it is still likely a long wait we didn't want to rush things.  We love y'all and please pray for us as we prepare our hearts, our home and for travel.  Also as we wait...that we wait with hope and peace, not anxiety.  Things are also honestly still a bit raw.  Our hearts are still healing...I feel like what I imagine couples experience after they have suffered a miscarriage, and then become pregnant again but don't want to announce their pregnancy until at least the second trimester.  We are still processing and wrapping our hearts and minds around all that has happened and is happening. 

So we are excited and so thankful. Please feel free to ask questions. We may not have the answers but we will try!

Proverbs 13:12
Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.

To Him be all praise and glory!

1 comment:

  1. He is so faithful! As I am learning more about the brain, I am reminded of our God and His ability to bring healing and new life. The challenges are definitely going to come but the possibilities are endless AND exciting! Praying for that sweet baby girl as He continues to provide for her through the orphanage.