Pressing in...

Every few weeks I hit a storm and freak out.  I feel the weight of the wait and I thrash around, flailing for some feeling of control...I send frantic emails, FB message friends to please pray for me in the midst of feeling helpless and hopeless about the process, I try to "figure out" how things could work, might work, may progress.  Yesterday was one of those days.  I whig out emotionally...it is not pretty friends.  My poor husband...he can usually find me those days making chocolate chip cookies and eating unhealthy amounts of the dough or even worse holed up at Cold Stone Creamery.  It isn't pretty folks, but it's true.

So today I am in a kind of haze...reality sets back in...I feel a little hope...but exhausted.  I wore myself out. Trusting is best. I know this yet I default to this craziness every few weeks.  Sigh...

Today the Lord sent this blog post...
From wise and wonderful Sara Hagerty.  I share her posts every so often. Thank you Jesus for using her journey and her wisdom to speak to me and speak to my emptiness and lack of faith.  He is so good to know what we need and love us enough to remind us of His love, His Sovereignty and His plan.

We serve a precious Lord and amazing God.  Thank you friends that were near enough during my manic episode yesterday to love me through it:)  I hope Sara's perspective helps you understand a bit...
So once again I am pressing in to the wait and asking:

"Father, what don’t I know about You that You want to reveal to me here? 

What side of Yourself do You want to write on my story?"

Not a fan of "wait" training

So....we have moved up the wait list to #3.  And that is exciting!! However, the reality is we may remain at #3, #2, or # 1 for a very, very, very long time.  Our agency has absolutely no idea or prediction when a child or children will become available for a referral....let alone then court and travel.


I'm not gonna lie to you this is really hard.  I am totally out of control and probably 5 out of 7 days of the week I am bordering on feeling like a crazy lady internally.  I am learning the power of praise and putting on a thankful heart.  I am really learning a lot...but the hard way....the kind of learning that comes through pain, and lots of internal dying.  Lotsa fun!  Yeah I'm not really the poster child for international adoption right now...BUT on the other hand my passion for adoption only grows each day. The more I learn and the more incredible families I meet and hear their stories...the more passionate I become for these children and what this journey can produce in people that submit their wills and their lives to do whatever the Lord asks.  And for the Chapmans the call right now is to wait with blind faith and complete trust in the One who is so very faithful.  Oh, and to do it with joyful hearts and God-honoring attitudes.  Sounds easy, right? Absolutely not easy.


I was venting (complaining) to a precious new internet friend who has brought her sweet daughter home from Uganda within the last six months and she told me that the only wisdom she had was to point me back to Jesus...to point me to Truth.  She shared this article with me and it has really helped....lots of it I already knew but I believe it is a great perspective that I will keep coming back to over the next few days...weeks...months...maybe years. I mean aren't I called to be obedient even if I never see the end of the wait?  Yes, yes I am...even though I don't like that answer.  


 Thank you to all you precious friends that help me get through each day...asking about our journey...bringing me chocolate...letting me talk incessantly about adoption details that you don't really understand at all...people that buy and wear their Ugandan beads (I LOVE seeing them!).......commenting on FB....getting excited with us about the little steps...praying for us...and keeping hope with us...THANK YOU!


This is one of the verses I'm clinging to these days:) 
Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who called us is faithful.  And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.  Hebrews 10:24-25

So much...

A few weeks ago I had the remarkable opportunity to attend Created for Care, a conference for adoptive moms.  It was educational, encouraging, refreshing and amazing!  It was started by a couple of adoptive moms two years ago that just recognized a need for adoptive moms to feel connected, educated and encouraged.  They planned for 75 ladies, max and within 24 hours they had 250 women registered.  This year they planned for around 450 woman and very quickly sold out so they are having a second weekend retreat in March.  It was amazing being around so many woman that are in the midst of a similar process.  Many already have their little ones home, some are traveling soon and many like me, are considered at the beginning of their journey.

I was surprised at how well done everything was...as this is truly run by 5 adoptive moms (with large families) and their friends.  Amazing music, beautiful accomodations (Legacy Lodge at Lake Lanier), spoiled with yummy food, complete organization, schedule that was not overpacked, appropriate vendor booths...allowing for time to process.  I went not knowing anyone...which was SO fun!

I met two other moms, one that has adopted through our same agency (Nightlight) and orphanage, in Columbia and we rode up together.  Then I roomed with 3 ladies I connected with online that offered me a spot in their room.  They were great!!  One adopted domestically, one adopting form the Congo and one just starting her process and not sure where in Africa she is going to adopt.

I heard so many truths that I have hidden in my heart and written down in my notebook that I am still processing and chewing on.  So many wise, wise women were there to learn from.  I was able to meet and visit a bit with Suzanne Mayernick from 147 Million Orphans as well as Morgan Hansow from Light Gives Heat.  That was a wonderful experience.

I brought lots of notes and cds home to chew on and process through.  I also am excited to have many new resources to learn from like the wisdom from this church and their leadership and this website.

So...a few weeks ago we found out that most of our dossier was almost a year old and our agency felt like we should renew ALL of that paperwork:)  So we are hopefully a week away from the last of it being finished up and mailed in!  Then we will officially be on the waiting list.  It looks like we may be fourth on the waiting list.  So then we pray and wait for a referral!

While at the conference I met quite a few moms that have brought home HIV+ kiddos.  It is amazing the progress these little ones have made.  Josie Love Mayernick for example...(you can read her story here) she came home a very, very sick little girl and within 9 months of being on the right drug regimen the HIV traces in her body are almost undetectable!  Hearing their stories helped educate me and made me want to share what I am learning with each of you.  There is a wonderful organization called Project Hopeful that has helped me learn more.  I wanted to share a few things that I read on their site that I found very interesting...

Enable Education

The Truth Pandemic campaign is part of an ongoing educational initiative to encourage public awareness about the facts regarding HIV transmission and orphans living with HIV/AIDS. Project HOPEFUL believes that education is key to addressing the needs of orphans with HIV and families/individuals who would seek to adopt them.

What you need to know:

• `HIV is considered a chronic but manageable disease with proper treatment.
  `Children who receive treatment are expected to live a normal lifespan.
• `HIV has never been transmitted in normal family living conditions.
• `You NEVER have to fear contracting HIV through casual contact with an HIV+ person.
• `HIV is spread in three main ways: sexual contact, IV drug use through the sharing of dirty needles,
   mother to infant (pregnancy, birth or breast feeding.)
• `All around the world orphans are overlooked for adoption because of their HIV+ status.
• `Medications called ARVs can mean the difference between life and death.
• `The combination of three or more ARVs is called HAART. (Highly Active Anti-Retroviral Therapy)
• `With medications HIV can be effectively managed to the point that the virus is undetectable in laboratory tests.
• `There is a term for the miraculous transformation HIV+ people undergo when they begin receiving the medications they need.
   The Lazarus Effect is a term commonly used to describe people who were once on the brink of death who have been restored again to health through medication.

Bloodlines

I watched this documentary recently of John Piper speaking about moving from the racism he grew up in and journeying toward the eventual adoption of his youngest child, Talitha, who is African American.  It is a beautiful story and the video is very well done.  It is about 19 minutes long and not "normal" Piper:)  I appreciate Piper but honestly can't always keep up with him....but this video touched my heart and spirit.  I also found it interesting that he grew up in Greenville, SC.  I hope you'll take some time to watch.

Transparency...

Wish I had great news but honestly this week I am feeling quite discouraged.  Our dossier was turned in and our agency has asked us to redo almost half of it.  Much of our paperwork was completed in Jan/Feb/March/April of last year.  We did lots of it while we were doing our home study paperwork so we could be ready to mail it in as soon as we received our USCIS approval.  When Mark's job changed in June before we received that coveted USCIS approval,  everything paused.  Then once he was rehired in Sept. we had to amend our home study before we could submit our dossier.  And now we are in 2012 and that means much of the paperwork in our dossier is almost a year old.  Apparently in Uganda when it comes to this kind of paperwork it isn't wise to have it that old.

So we are reordering birth certificates.  Did you know a birth certificate in SC costs $12 each and birth certificates from Michigan cost $50 each and birth certificates from Colorado cost $30? Each person in the household has to have 2 new birth certificates.  Although we have 6 marriage certificates issued February of 2010, we have to get 2 newer ones:) Thankfully we have the money because of all our wonderful fundraisers but just hate spending it on redoing paperwork!

Do I sound frustrated?  Yeah I am.  I realize I shouldn't be and it is just part of this process.  I am just ready to feel like we are making progress!  Okay enough whining:)  I am THANKFUL!  For what I am learning in the wait...for the way this pressure is prayerfully causing some refining and in the end some beautiful character.

I am thankful that in the delays and waiting God is surely working and although His ways are indeed not my ways...they are so much better!  Do I feel thankful?  No, at the moment I FEEL like I want to throw a hissy fit and stomp my foot and pout and whine to Jesus about why in the world I have to REDO all this blasted paperwork that I FINALLY  just finished!!  And why I have to spend all this money again and why does it all have to take SO stinking long!!!

Big cleansing breath....the Lord sees and knows...His timing is amazingly perfect...He has our best interests in mind....and I can always trust His heart...He knows where our littles are and when they will need us...He is preparing the way before us and none of this journey is wasted...none of the pain, none of the frustration, none of the growth opportunities, none of the new relationships made, none of the angst.  Gotta keep my eyes on that!  Thanks for journeying with us:)  In the end...it is going to be blow-our-minds amazing!  I just deep-in-my gut KNOW it!

Need an affordable Christmas gift idea???...

I am finally following through and posting pictures of the Ugandan bead necklaces we are selling in the ornament globes.

Aren't they pretty?  They have some white tinsel on the bottom of the globe, which is hard to see in this picture.  The top of the ornament comes right off so you can simply pull the necklace out after Christmas to wear it!  I also have some with the bow smaller, not as a hanger.  We are selling these ornaments for $30.  They would make a fun teacher gift and also great for an ornament exchange!


We can wrap them up for you like this!

We also have lots of the necklaces on their own for $25.  They all come with a tag that tells the story of the woman that make these beads. These women were making a living through prostitution or picking trash, but Amazima Ministries has helped them form a community and taught them this trade.  They now make a sustainable income making the necklaces.  147 Million Orphans purchases the necklaces from the women and helps sell them all over the world.  They have a special ministry to adoptive families like ours, helping us use these necklaces to raise funds to help us make our adoption possible.  So a portion of your purchase goes back to the women that make the necklaces and the rest goes to our adoption fund.

We have also found another pretty way to display the necklaces like this:

You can purchase these for $28.  We also are selling these starfish ornaments for $8.  

When we first decided to adopt we remembered the story of the man that was walking on the beach and saw hundreds of starfish washed up on shore and he saw a little boy throwing them back into the ocean one by one.  The man told the little boy that he might as well stop because it didn't matter and he wasn't going to save enough of the starfish.  But the little boy continued and said, "It matters to this one!"

That seems to sum up the way we feel about James 1:27 and our role as believers in fulfilling the call to help the widows and the orphans.  We can't adopt or help ALL the 147 million orphans.  But we can do what we ARE ABLE to do.  That might be adopt one, or sponsor a Compassion child or send an Operation Christmas Child shoebox or help with an adoption yard sale or cut the grass for a widow or buy a necklace or ornament....but it is still making a difference for one.  We are called to do for one what we wish we could do for all.

The starfish ornament also comes with a card attached that shares the story of the little boy and the starfish.  They can be hung on a tree or displayed for Christmas.

These really do make fun, unique gifts that have a story, a purpose and an opportunity to give back.  Let me know if you are interested in buying one!  You can email me at erikachapman74@gmail.com or leave a comment below!  Thank you!

Update!! - Finally:)

There has been so much going on that honestly I am a little overwhelmed at where to begin.  At the end of this you may actually feel like nothing has really changed but in the world of adoption sometimes you go one step forward and three steps back, yet that is at least movement, which is progress!

Shannon and Lee Burris helped us have another yard sale, which went great!  Many of our friends and home group peeps chipped in to donate and work and we made over $800!  We are so thankful!  I also was blessed to be able to have a booth at the She Event at the Civic Center two weekends ago and sold our Ugandan necklaces from 147 Million Orphans.  We sold 40 necklaces but have lots more so please contact me if you are interested in purchasing some for Christmas presents.  I will post pictures hopefully tomorrow because we also have put some of the necklaces in pretty clear globes and are selling them for $25 as ornaments with bows on them.  You can hang them on the tree and/or take the necklace out to wear them.  They would work great for an ornament exchange or just a beautiful way to give the necklaces as a gift in a festive fashion.  We will also wrap them up for you.  I know you need a picture so I'll post those tomorrow:)

We also have been in the process of resubmitting the financial portion of our home study to be reapproved because of Mark's job change.  In the midst of submitting that paperwork in a round about way we became aware of some new children that came into care at the orphanage from which we are adopting.  A sibling group of three came into care in mid-October. Mark and I separately could not get them off of our minds and through prayer and conversation decided to inquire about them.  We weren't sure if we could be approved to adopt three.  Fairly quickly we were approved by our home study agency for three and then submitted our home study with the revisions to the financial forms as well as changing our request from approval for two children to approval for three.  That paperwork has gone through DSS hands and is now being processed through USCIS which is Immigration.  We are finishing up a few more items that need to be submitted so our dossier will be complete.  Once we receive our I71-C, which is Immigration approval, then we will send that on to our agency and they will send our completed dossier to Uganda and we will be considered paper ready, or ready for our referral.

So this is where things become complicated:)  We received an email a few days ago explaining that because of the heightened awareness of unethical adoptions the Embassy and the judges are being extremely cautious about awarding legal guardianship to adoptive families.  Our agency's desire is to make sure that each adoption is ethical and very thorough in attempting to track down Ugandan family members that might be able to and be willing to adopt the children at the Tender Hearts Babies Home.

So we did make it clear to our agency that we would like to be considered for a referral for this sibling group of three.  They can make absolutely no promises or guarantees.  They cannot discuss the children in any detail until they are ready to make our referral.  We understand that.  For all the children that are in their care they have to advertise in newspapers and on radio stations about these children in an attempt to track down family members.  They need to do this repeatedly over a six month period.  It will also take around six months to make sure the children medically are where they need to be to be considered adoptable.

So the discouraging thing is the reality that even if these little ones are one day called to be Chapmans, it will be at least six months before we are even offered their referral.  However, at least we have a little more of a rough and tentative timeline.  If we do receive their referral and accept it the lawyer then submits our file for a court date.  Then once we receive a court date we go to Uganda with the very real possibility of being over there for at least 4-6 weeks.  So we settle back into the pray and wait mode.  We do still have some footwork to do in finalizing some paperwork, but for the most part we need to sit back and watch Jesus work all this stuff out.

We are so thankful for the way you all encourage us by asking about the process and praying for us!  Thank you for understanding when we seem a little discouraged with the wait.  And please forgive us if at times we seem unenthusiastic when we talk about it!  It just is hard waiting at times!  We know the Lord is working even when we don't see it and we also rest in the fact that He has a plan and His ways are not our ways!

We try not to talk at length about these kinds of details with the boys because the waiting is a hard concept for them too.  We still may only receive a referral for one child, or two...or it may end up being three.  Until we have more concrete details we simply pray for our little ones together daily and ask for eyes of faith.  We have such an amazing community of people that we know are praying for us and watching to see what the Lord will do through this process.